Do you feel lucky?

     Back to the days of the old wild, wild west. When a man's pistol was his law. When there was only one rule. Survive. His hat was as crooked as the bandits in front of him. His gaze was the gateway to hell. It could steal a man's soul. The face of man who had seen unspeakable horrors stood before them. The expression of nothing but it told everything. Hair with streaks of gray illustrate his wisdom. The clothes on his back are worn out and have seen to many winters. Rough hands like a carpenters. Skilled and ready for the task ahead of them. Guns drawn and prepared for combat. Patiently waiting for the time to strike. His belt fastened like a rappel. The silent killer is here and doesn't want an excuse.

Who wants me?

     They say I have the gift. They say I've come from the heavens. They say I can do anything. They say I am the prophet of our generation. Really though I'm just Chris Pond the designated driver. You may of heard of me and my adventures to Narnia. I've travelled the world in a flash. That guy in that movie ,with that other guy, was me. Jesus calls me a bro. Barrack Obama asks for me for help. Brock Lesner asks for training advice. Van camp asks for my gooder english because it's funner. I don't make typos I make new words.

     I make the world spin. The United Nations doesn't need a coalition force. They have me. I'm the bane of stupidity. The spokesperson of common sense. The director of Steven Spielberg. I made the treaty for world peace then blew it up. Others woo woman. Woman come to me. I'm superman without the tights. I'm Batman without the cave. I'm Captain America but Canadian. I'm wolverine with no metal. All great men had facial hair. I have wings. I invented the ipod. With some help from Steve Jobs. Rest in peace.

     Death fears me. Gandhi was my padawan. I CAN handle the truth. I write without ink. I drank the milky way. If I'm wrong I'm still right. I'm everywhere.  Once I saw a doo-doo bird being hatched. When I need exercise I run with cheetahs. I fight with lions. I bench hippos. I arm wrestle with gorillas. I dream of being normal. When I'm bored I rearrange the stars. I don't need a flute to charm a snake. Oprah comes on my show. She's a nice lady. Once I froze the sun. Others need excuses to be late. I just show up. Like Gandalf I arrive when I mean to.

     I melted Vanilla ice's ice ice baby. I put the em in Eminem. I gave 50 cent a quarter. Joker laughed at my jokes. I'm the ace in every deck. I grab life by the horns. Paul Rabil is on my level. I've got a touchdown. I've got a grand slam. I've got a hat trick. I got all those in the same game. I can count to infinite and back. My tears cure AIDS. Too bad I never cry. I am Heralces hero. I am the duke of Penticton. The ogopogo is my pet. I don't hold my breathe under water. I drink it. Cats and dogs groom me.

    I skate barefoot. Beethoven could hear me. I was Einstein's teacher. Once God told me to give him some power. You can't guard me. Once I blocked Shaq. I walk the speed of sound. Sutherland got her sayings from me. Mr. Clean is my maid. The phone book is my recipe book. I played a whole soccer game without diving. Kronos comes on my time. Zeus pays my electricity bill. Poseidon is my pool boy. I pulled the sword out of the stone. If god was a human he'd look like me. I am the holy grail. I am the man in mankind. I am Pondy. I have yet to face my greatest challenge. Go to college.

Me in Me

Not the full song. Only took the lyrics that had poetic devices.

[Chorus:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better,

His soul's escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortom
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows
He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose cause here goes the cold water
These ho's don't want him no mo, he's cold product
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it’s old partner, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

[Chorus:]

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this m*********n roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5
And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cause man, these g****m food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Makai Pheiffer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter-totter caught up between bein a father and a pre-madonna
Baby mama drama's screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only m*********n option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not this may be the only opportunity that I got

     Poetry is more then just poems. It it a part of everyday life and people don't tend to realize it. The song "Lose Yourself" by eminem is a great example of how poetry is in everyday life. The theme of the song is to follow your dreams and never back down. The chorus of the song has figurative language. He says to "lose yourself in the music," to let the music take you somewhere else.  Eminem has been "chewed up and spit out." That is unlikely to happen but the line does show a good example of imagery and how people feel after a loss. He is known "as the Globetrotter." He isn't no basketball player but the Harlem Globetrotters are a group of talented people who are well known. He uses this as an allusion to show his talent of others. Eminem feels little "[He's] like a snail," that is self explanatory that it is a simile. The mood of the song is inspirational. At first he is nervous and gets booed off stage. He also talks about his life problems.  By the end he "formulate[s] a plot," to follow his dreams and let nothing stand in his way. My favorite line is "His soul's escaping" its a hyperbole because souls don't just escape. Overall this song shows several poetic devices. Eminem as an artist is great for lyrics.

Santa Claus

Landon Wigley
8402 Smack Down Ave.
Penticton, B.C.
V2A 6X9

December 15, 2011

Santa Claus
Magical Figure
North Pole

Dear Santa:
 
     I'm on the edge of being on the naughty list. But it isn't my fault. You can blame the girlfriend for that. She just can't resist me. Can you blame her? Look at me. I'm sexy and I know it. Anyways other then that I've been fairly good... I guess. Okay maybe not on the mats. Because I've been tossing people like rag dolls lately. IT'S SO MUCH FUN! Can't guard me! There are other incidents that might put me on the naughty list but let's just skip the details. Let's just get to the wish list.

     Okay Santa here's the deal. I don't want or need that many items but there is a few things you could get me. Firstly I would like a fender strate. To rip it up like David Gilmour. He is god on the guitar! Secondly having a bowflex would be great. No pain no gain! I love that burning sensation. Lastly I know this last item might question my uh... yeah. A pink with purple lining singlet. Don't ask why I want it. Personal I think it will give me a psychologial advantage. Plus the look on my oppostions face will be rich.


Sincerly Landon

To text or to not to text?

     "It isn't professional. It's saying, 'To hell with all of you,' " says Pamela Eyring. The article depicts that people are losing their "one-on-one people skills," and the ability to maintain focus in conversations. This is a growing concern in our society and for future generations. It continues to discuss that people are becoming selfish or "cell-fish" with the respectful use of using cell phones in social encounters.
   

Today

I am the stop sign of serious
You people been to oblivious
It's time to let loose
It's time to be curious
let go of your excuse

The woman in front of me in the line
I'd say was at least a nine
I recited a sonnet
She thought it was cute but said "no I'm fine"
I walked away from that brunette

My friends die from laughter
That I tried to chase after
I'm glad that they laugh
I have nothing to regret from hereafter
But it feels as I've been hit by a giraffe

They do not speak of fun and jokes
Pretty sure soon they'll die from strokes
It's time they have fun
They are too serious of folks
Maybe I'll buy them a water gun

I'm rifling through the pockets in my mind
pretty soon I'll be outta time
To show you how to live
When I'm gone look at my rhymes
And I'll arrive

I played Icarus in my school play
That was such an awful display
I probably was the worst
But did I astray
No, I went in head first

Inside the old box
Nothing but blocks and rocks
But give it to a child
He'll be as free as a fox
You'll never see a bigger smile

Fairy Tales of Perfection

     Nothing in the world is perfect. Why do writers usually stereotype perfection in poems and stories? In the poem "puce fairy book" by Alice Major and the article "Forget Prince Charming" by June Callwood the authors justify that looking for perfection in relationships isn't going to happen. Alice Major would probably agree with the grandmothers advice to her grandchildren.

     Alice Major uses the more common fairy tales to prove that wanting or looking for perfection in romance is never going to happen. She compares herself to the fairy tales and she "with thanks, and honour," doesn't want to be Cinderella. Her foot was "too big to fit," in the glass slipper. That men have to stop looking for the "perfect" woman in a relationship and stop making their expectations so high. To stop comparing average woman to fairy tales. Because no girls hair will "grow long enough," like Rapunzel.

     June Callwood in her article "Forget Prince Charming" explains what to look for to find a stable relationship. She explores the aspects to find the "perfect" relationship. The grandmother doesn't believe "that a perfect mate exists," and tells her granddaughters what to seek when looking for happiness... (ran out of time)

Alice Major would mostly agree with the advice given by the grandmother to her granddaughters. The grandmother tells them to look for someone that can compromise, that is honest and the ability to collaborate. In the poem "puce fairy book" indicates that romance isn't perfect because not every girl has the same shoe size to fit the "crystal slipper." This is why Alice would agree with the grandmother. That she tells her granddaughters that looking for perfect won't result in a strong relationship. Both show that looking for character will be better if you want to "live happily ever after".